You may have noticed a certain fashion discussion that took place on social media last week. You know the one that started after a group of men posed for a picture to promote a Kickstarter campaign and one very poignant thing stood out in particular. What was that thing, you ask? That thing was called a RompHim “male romper.”
Now, you or your mates may have seen this article of clothing on your girlfriend or your girlfriend’s friend at one point or another. A romper is a popular clothing item among women where the top and bottom are connected, essentially becoming one piece of clothing. Think of it like a jumpsuit but with short sleeves and short bottoms. Women like rompers because they’re comfortable and rather than having to worry about wearing a dress on a windy, hot day, they can just throw on a romper to save time while not sacrificing any fashion sense.
So, what’s the big deal? Sounds easy and ideal for anyone to wear a romper. Why can’t men join the RompHim craze?
NO! No, no, no, no, NO! I won’t even let yourself finish that thought. Don’t be an a**hole.
Look, I understand the whole “keeping up with the Jones’” thing and wanting to have the same thing that someone else does but for this one you should display some restraint. Remember when you were taught to think before you talk? Okay, now think before you buy!
For f*** sake, protect your manhood, gentlemen! First off, you shouldn’t even be wearing shorts that are shorter than your mid-thigh so by wearing a romper you’re already committing serious fashion crimes by also allowing your groin to practically expose itself anytime you sit down. This isn’t the mid-70’s anymore, nobody wants to see 50 shades of leg hair as they sit down for their afternoon lunch.
Secondly, if the RompHim is really something that you want just go by yourself a pair of overalls. They may not come in teal, or peach, or polka dot colors but that’s because they’re not a f***ing romper! Hell, if you can’t convince yourself to wear a pair of overalls just go watch some of your favorite 90’s rap videos. Tupac wearing overalls is as good of an excuse as you’ll ever get!
Lastly, what happened to the simpler days of men just throwing on a pair of their favorite shorts and favorite t-shirt and calling it good? What excuse do you really have to be motivated enough to say, “Nope, these shorts won’t do the trick. But, this RompHim?!” None. You have no excuse. Half of you aren’t even stylish enough to know why you would want to wear something like a romper and the half that do wouldn’t even know what shoes to wear with a romper so you would really be doing the outfit a disservice anyway. The guys in the Kickstarter picture are wearing Timberland boots with their rompers! What else do we really need to say?!
Look, we sound frustrated, we understand but that’s because we are. Sipping your morning coffee with your pinky out is one thing. That’s called accentuation. But, wearing a romper? Not on our watch.
Share this article and save your mates from commiting serious crime. A crime against fashion, and a crime against manhood.